I understand now why no one's ever stayed
or why my family doesn't try
Everyone's too afraid of getting lost in me
Of being pulled down my current
and drowning in me
No one wants to lose their own mind
trying to understand mine

I'm not sure if you'll see me again
Part of me say yes
but the other says no
I was almost going to apologize
for the last memory you'd have of me
Red face, clenched fists, water
from my eyes
But for that, I am not sorry
Because the last thing you'd have to remember
was the face of someone who didn't want to
live without you

But ultimately, had to

They say the sting of missing
someone only lasts a certain time
That one day you'll wake up and they
won't be the first thing on your mind
That you'll be able to walk around
without feeling that hollow place where your heart used to lie
You'll be able to make it through the day
without a tear sneaking down your face
But none of that's true
because I woke up today not thinking
of you at all
You weren't on my mind
Yet I kept staring at my bedroom door
Wishing you'd walk through it
So maybe you weren't on my mind after all
Cause you never even left it

Meeting you for the first time
I think our hearts were overwhelmed
I didn't have the slightest inclination of what had hit me
but you proceeded as if it were on purpose,
like it was meant to happen
"Well, it's nice to meet you"
you say between a deep sigh
Almost like your soul was taking
a breath and said,
"Finally"

I wonder if it scares you to
know we are intertwined
In a way we can't explain
Yet you've always known we were
Even before we met
kind of like when you're searching for something you lost
But you know it's there
I'm not sure why you continued
to look for me
I'm just so grateful to have been found

I feel like I'm always waiting for something
a change in the weather
Or a new outfit to buy
A new person to meet
A new song to come on the radio
But mostly, I'm waiting for me to change
to be come someone else
to be somewhere else
Except when I'm with you
Who I am is perfectly fine
and there's no where else I'd rather be
and I forget I'm waiting for anything else
but then it occurs to me

It must be you

I keep asking myself- what is distance?
Is it two people who care for each other, being miles apart?
Is it driving for hours just to see them?
Is it planning a visit, but not being able to make it happen for months?
No, that is not distance
It’s going to the store, and seeing their favorite candy on sale 
It’s watching TV, and having the main character mention their name
It’s listening to your iPod, and having that song you danced to in the car play on random
It’s going shopping and thinking, ‘Oh, they’d like this’
It’s coming across an old picture of the two of you and remembering all the fun you had
But really
It’s leaving your phone on silent because you can’t bare to speak to them without wanting to cry
Even if they are just words on a screen
It’s getting angry at the miles, and taking it out on your family
It’s not being able to sleep
Because the ache of missing them is too much
But most of all
It’s being curled up in a ball, praying to disappear 
And the only one helping you to exist
Is a world away
Now that

That is distance

Sometimes it's  hard to sleep
Not knowing if I'll really see you again
Cause the thought of not
Is unacceptable
But at the end of the day
that's okay

You keep my heart busy

My life seems mostly
black and white
Dull and dreary
But when you're around
I can feel all the colors start to come back

Home

Sharing the same space
with you
Is like coming home
after a long trip
I walk in the door and can finally
breathe
And after many months of suffocation

It's nice to fill my lungs with fresh air

Very few people know what
it feels like to be broken
To walk around trying so
hard to keep all their pieces
from falling apart and
shattering to a million bits
And the strength it requires
to pick up the pieces that do
fall and turn them into
something good
And sometimes the pieces will
fall and you won't have the courage to pick them up
So just leave them there
You don't need every little piece to create something beautiful

Puzzle

On some days I feel like an
unfinished puzzle
Some days I will try my
hardest to fit the pieces
Where they belong
And on some days I will leave
them scattered on the floor
And on the days in between

The pieces don't exist

Unraveling

I feel myself unraveling
Coming undone without you here
I wish I could say I were stronger
And didn't need you
But we both know I am not that brave
I need you here, soon
Please hurry
You won't be able to pick up the pieces from over there.